Is a work-life balance, inspiring you, or causing stress?

Is a work-life balance, inspiring you, or causing stress?


Ditching the work-life balance

Is a focus on creating a work-life balance, inspiring you, or causing you to feel stressed?

If thinking about work-life balance is causing you stress, then one of two things could be happening:
1. Things have unusually tipped over, causing overwhelm. You aren’t quite sure how to regain some control or make changes. Or you need to prioritise a pause and stop to look at it. Probably now.
2. You have applied certain rules of what ‘it’ ‘should’ look like. You are frustrated that you, or others, aren’t playing by those rules. Exploring these rules can be useful.
The concept of ‘work life-balance’, can either motivate, irritate, or be a cause of judgement.
How can we make the motivation work for us?
It can be that the phrase work-life balance irritates you. Letting go of the phrase (or your irritation/judgment towards the words themselves) can make an immediate difference.
Choosing a new phrase that works for you. Or connecting to the deeper concept. Which might include a sense, a state of being, a calm, flow, an energy, or type of feeling. You choose.

The next consideration is?


Are you using it to judge yourself, or using it as a stick to beat yourself with?
Do the phrases I am not good enough, perfect enough, or it shouldn’t be this hard, or it should be a different way, coming up for you when thinking about this life balance?
It may be you that these also show up in other areas of life too. It can therefore be useful to explore, and do the work around, growing our self-belief and confidence. Alongside rewriting our old stories, past rules, or expectations.
However, for now, with a focus on any ‘rules’ we have in this area.
What comes up for you when exploring the questions, below, around balance (or your chosen word)?
(I recommend grabbing your journal or device and writing your thoughts out, it helps with clarity).
What must fit in? How easy must it be? What times or expectations do I apply to working hours, or non-working hours? Family time or my protected time? Is there a required split that I am applying? Or an energy that I think I should feel, and when is that? All of the time? Do I feel I ‘should’ fit it all in? In all roles or some roles? Which are they? What are the things I think I should fit in? What rules do I have about what can, or cannot be dropped, ever? And finally, what do I resent?
From exploring this, you will usually have come up with some rules, or expectations, that are not helping you. Not least, when it comes to creating flow in your life.
In noticing them, you might immediately spot some points, where your time and energy is being taken up, and a practical step or change you can make.

You may also have noticed some shoulds or rules. It may be time to drop or rewrite some of them. Some you can do instantly, others might need revisiting, depending on its depth or breadth.


What else?


Moving further forward, it can also help to connect to how you want life to look, or feel, regarding time.
Pick a new phrase, an image, a sense. Whatever works for you.
A natural way for you to reconnect when things start to significantly move out of flow (and remember that flow can still slow down, speed up, or get a bit choppy quite naturally, and it will still be acceptable to you.)
It’s finding a tool that lets you check in with yourself. To help stop you from tipping over your line, if you get close to it. Or to bring you back, more readily, if you do.
Whether it is work, hobbies, interests, relationships, or certain tasks, that might be creeping into consuming an unhealthy amount of physical and mental time. It’s find a tool that helps bring it back into focus, to help you make the change or tweak it needs, as soon as you can.
Enjoy.  What worked for you?

About Simona Hamblet

Simona is a specialist coach & hypnotherapist, working with lawyers for the past six years helping them to create the firms & lives that they want. Simona also has over 20 years of experience as an employment solicitor & partner in a dual-office law firm (focusing on staff development & business growth).

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