What stories are you telling yourself. Are they even true?
We all tell ourselves stories, a running commentary in our heads. Many of us aren’t even aware of what we are telling ourselves, and others, repeatedly.
Why is it important to notice our stories? Releasing or turning our limiting stories around can make a huge difference to our happiness, it encourages good mental health, and allows us to create more of a life that we want to live. All good things!
A great way to take action around our stories, or running commentary, is to start journalling, brainstorming…basically getting it out of your head and onto paper. Writing or typing it out makes a difference, rather than trying to do it all in your head. One way to start is, as you go through your day, notice and jot down any stories that come up for you (ones you think about, and ones you share). If you don’t have time to journal at that moment, make a quick note and come back to it later. If you already know what your stories are, you can start with those.
Noticing your stories, big and small, and reflecting on them can help you to decide if they are:
Outdated. Perhaps that thing you are telling yourself, did reflect a part of you, once upon a time, but no more. Ask yourself, is this still true for you? It is a lovely surprise when people realise it no longer is.
Unsubstantiated. Is your statement/belief supported by any external evidence? No? If there is some evidence, what part of it is substantiated, and which parts aren’t? Be genuine.
Not yours. Is it your story or is it what someone else has put onto you? Whose voice are you hearing? That is often interesting.
Deflecting. Is this narrative deep down the truth, or it is giving you a reason to avoid examining what is happening for you? It can be challenging.
Glossy. Is it a nice story? Perhaps one you repeatedly tell others? It is often honed, polished, and believable, yet it is a superficial layer. The real part of it, the truth of it, is below. Is it an excuse? A closer look helps.
Noticing your stories, and recognising what they are, is a great achievement.
Once you notice your limiting stories, you can start to review, release and/or rewrite them.
Please don’t berate yourself for having them, or noticing them for the first time. We all have them, and some of them go deeper than others.
Once you start to notice them, get everything out of your brain and onto paper before you start to release or rewrite them. What are they? What are they really saying? If they generate a strong feeling, allow yourself to briefly feel and acknowledge that. It can be useful to thank yourself, for perhaps trying to protect you with this story, as this can help release judgment.
Useful questions when exploring, might include:
What is this about? What is this really about?
Where did this come from? Is is wholly, partly, or not, true?
What is my greatest emotion or fear in this?
What could it be protecting me from?
What excuse does it give me?
How does it help me?
Keep journalling and brainstorming everything that comes up for you, until there really is no more. It is often cathartic in itself.
Once you get to a natural stage, ask yourself ‘Do I want this in my life anymore?’
When you are ready, think about how you want to release any limiting stories, beliefs, excuses, fears, or anything else that is holding you back. Breathe them out. Visualise them vanishing. Burn the papers. Go for a run? You decide what works best for you.
Some will be wholly released, others you will find it beneficial to rewrite. Some people rewrite their life story with a new positive angle. Other options include rewriting the limiting stories you are focusing on. Or writing positive statements or confirmations on a particular belief. Both can be extremely beneficial. Again, think about what you need to make that mental and emotional change.
I suspect you will start to notice other people’s stories in future. That again can make a difference, you will find yourself reacting differently as a result.
Finally, also notice the positive and true stories about yourself. Smile and agree that, yes, you are awesome.
One Life.Your Life.Live It
Simona is a professional coach, trainer, and speaker, working with motivated individuals to achieve successful careers, grow businesses, and create purposeful and fulfilled lives.
The best way to know how coaching works is to try it! If you are ready to change something in your life, or want to make a big goal happen, apply for your complimentary session to talk to Simona here (limited spaces available). In the meantime, have an amazing day.