Understanding – Are You Listening To Me?

Understanding – Are You Listening To Me?


Listening and understanding: How to make a change.

There are many detailed articles on how to listen, and communicate, more effectively. Here, I simply want to draw your attention to one aspect of communication. Something that often comes up.

How often do you hear, or say the words, “you aren’t listening to me”?

Well, if the other person has been physically listening and paying attention, then this usually means the speaker is not feeling ‘heard’, or rather, not feeling understood.

If not said aloud, it often shows up as someone repeating themselves, or becoming increasingly frustrated.

So what can you do?

If you are talking, is there another way to share the information? Can you rephrase it? Would another time to revisit it be better for you both/all?

If you are listening, can you now ask some questions with the intention of understanding (rather than solving)?

If the other person is repeating the sentence/point without much variation, you may find acknowledging their point (which can be different to agreeing to it) may be sufficient. If it isn’t, then further exploration is necessary.

With greater focus on understanding, communication becomes more effective and personal or business relationships improve. Listening to understand, rather than to respond, can make a significant difference.

Note: If you have explained something clearly, and others have grasped the point readily, then the chances are, unfortunately, the individual ‘listening’ is unwilling to hear what you have to say, or rather is unwilling to accept, act on, or acknowledge it. This might be your boss, family, friend, or partner.

It is then up to you, knowing you can’t change it in that moment, or indeed ever, what you do next. This in itself can be an important realisation. The penny dropping!

Have a great week.

One Life.Your Life.Live It

Simona is a professional leadership trainer, coach and speaker, working with motivated individuals to create successful professional lives and purposeful personal lives. Her focus is on mindset and strategy.

If you are looking for leadership training, business  or personal coaching to develop yourself, or grow your business, please get in touch for bespoke programmes to take your career or life to the next level.


About Simona Hamblet

Simona is a specialist coach & hypnotherapist, working with lawyers for the past six years helping them to create the firms & lives that they want. Simona also has over 20 years of experience as an employment solicitor & partner in a dual-office law firm (focusing on staff development & business growth).

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