Are We Putting Our Lives On Hold Whilst We Go After Goals?
0 CommentsDreams, goals, and aspirations
When we were younger we used to happily dream. Are we still dreaming? Looking to the future? Creating the life we want?
Or have our dreams been buried? Put off to someday. Maybe we try to avoid even thinking about them.
Life on hold
Sometimes it is more than dreams that are put on hold, at times it is parts of our lives that might be put on hold.
Or, not applying for a job, moving towns, or taking a chance, because of the impact it might have if we met ‘the one’, to what we perceive might change with our friends, our families, or ourselves.
Not moving forward because we are waiting – waiting to be happier, to be more confident, to be thinner, to fall in love, to be noticed at work, for the kids to move out, for our parents to move closer, or further way, for something…
Perhaps you are saying to yourself I will be happy when….. , or I will do this when ….. ?
Sometimes, years and decades can be lost to putting our dreams on hold, or indeed ignored forever, until we wish we had taken that step.
Reasons or excuses?
Life will always have practical challenges. Some may be more readily surmountable than others. They may require planning, saving for, getting support, gaining new skills or knowledge. However, with these we usually taken action. We take the next step, and then the next. We aren’t delaying, or coming up with reasons not to.
It is the postponing, or avoiding looking at our dreams, or even our own internal check, that perhaps tells us we aren’t being entirely honest with ourselves. That what we are saying are reasons to not take action, might in fact be excuses. Something to hide behind, for various explanations.
There’s no judgment in this, if it were easy we would all be doing it. Living life fully, without so much worry. Going for every opportunity.
However, the danger of time passing is that sometimes this adds to it. We start feeling guilty for not having done ‘it’ already. Because of this we don’t make a start. We have added the judgment (of ourselves, or what others might say) of not doing it sooner. The irony of our mind and our emotions.
Your future
Take a moment to pause, and think about your dreams. The feelings that come up. Are you excited? Is it the opposite?
Perhaps you know deep down you have been putting blocks or those hurdles in your way. Maybe even self sabotaging.
What happens for you, when you think about your dreams, your goals. What are the emotions that come up? This can be telling as to whether any real discomfort, or the opposite in excitement, is a hint that now is the time to start to notice, sit with it, and explore.
Asking yourself questions about the rules, or stories you are telling yourself, that are holding you back. Reflecting on your concerns. What are they? Perhaps that people will laugh. That you might fail. What if you get there, and don’t like it? That you might make a mistake. That if you get there, you will have to sacrifice something else. Work all the hours of the day and night forever. That your family or your health will suffer.
What if none of that is true? It is just a story, heard on repeat, that keeps us stuck.
What if you could have it all? How freeing does that feel? Maybe not all of the time, but what if it was most of the time. How do we know unless we believe and try.
What would it be for you to do that, to try. To get the confidence, the self esteem, the self belief. Whatever might be holding you back or whatever moving forward means to you. To go for it. To switch the pause, the hold button, and instead hit go.
Practical Tip & Actions
There are many ways to look behind the curtain of what is happening.
One useful starting point is to write two lists, the first is all of the reasons why you want the goal, the dream. Everything about it.
The second is all of the reasons you don’t want it. Whilst you might doubt that there can be reasons, given you truly want it, give it a try. When you make the time to delve into it, some surprising ones can emerge . These might be activities you don’t want to to do to get there, or things that might happen along the way. Quite often there are also concerns about the changes and the ‘what if’s’, including how others might behave, should you achieve your goal.
Either way, the benefit of knowing is that once you are aware of them, you can start to break them down. Decide how to overcome or manage them. Replace them with other actions. Or do something else entirely. Clarity, gives us opportunities for new choices and action.
So, what are you no longer willing to let hold you back? What is your dream and where will it take you today….
