Top Tips For Creating A Lovely Christmas (For You)

Creating a Lovely Christmas for You, A New Approach

When was the last time you thought about what you would like Christmas, or any other important day, to feel like, look like, or involve?

Every year, many of us find ourselves too busy, too stressed, and sometimes too grumpy to enjoy the Christmas period. We often go back to work tired, demotivated, and wondering what happened.

Sometimes it is about how we experience Christmas and what we practically do. Or it can be about the expectations of what Christmas ‘should’ bring into our homes or relationships. Both can add a lot of pressure to the day, or to the whole break.

I have written more about those expectations here, in What are your unwritten rules for Christmas, and are they draining you?

Is it time for a few tweaks or changes? Perhaps a complete rewrite?

Doing something different

Many of us have fallen into habits, go along with expectations, or forget to question what we truly want at Christmas, or the festive period. This might be about trips, visits, who we buy presents for, how much we spend, what we wear, what we do, who we visit or allow in our home, and more.

By spending a bit of time now, we can think ahead, reconnect with the Christmas or festive feeling, and plan what we would genuinely like to experience.

And remember, if this is a tiring, or sometimes tricky, time of year, be kind to yourself (and others), practise pausing, and enjoy the moments.

Creating Christmas

We all know how stressful the Christmas period can be. There is running around buying gifts, writing Christmas cards (and forgetting someone), the food shopping, the outfit choosing, the cooking (possibly), trying to visit every family member, early starts, motorway miles, the sudden influx of social invitations, and so on.

Unfortunately, this means that rather than having a relaxing and fun festive break, we can end up frazzled and already thinking about the next holiday.

We might mutter about what we did not enjoy about Christmas, yet rarely take a moment to stop and think in advance about what we would want it to be instead.

So, this year, we can stop, breathe, and do something different.

Allow for some curiosity, and notice where guilt comes up and where it feels a little more exciting. The next steps are to reduce the guilt and increase the enjoyment.

Your Lovely Christmas Day (Part I)

I use the word ‘lovely’ loosely. The idea is to give you a chance to reflect on what you want, not to create a rod for your own back, compare yourself to adverts, or make things harder for yourself.

Here are some questions for you to reflect on. Go with it, use your imagination, and see what comes to mind. Grab a pen and paper and start scribbling.

We will begin with your lovely Christmas Day.

Christmas Morning

Imagine you are in bed, waking up on Christmas morning. Remember, this is your ideal Christmas Day (you can choose another day), as you would have it if you could.

You look at the clock. What time is it? (Yes, this might be challenging for parents, but what would be lovely?)

How do you want to be woken up? Do the kids come running in with their stockings? Do you have breakfast in bed with your partner, time set aside just for you, or a combination? If you are on your own, what would be a lovely way to start your day?

What would be a lovely morning ritual for you and, if appropriate, your family?

Your Day

Think first about your morning, then your afternoon, and finally your evening.

If you had a magic wand, what would each part of your Christmas Day look like? Go ahead and write it down.

Who are you with?

Where are you?

How did you get there, and when?

What are you doing?

What would you like to eat, wear, watch, or talk about?

What does it look like for you?

Finished? Okay, take another look at your day.

For each part of it, write down how being with those people, if any, makes you feel. Why do you love those activities? What do you see, smell, and notice? Make the experience as rich as you can.

Is it realistic for you? Does it feel sound, grounding, interesting, nourishing, or exciting? Be as clear as you can about what it might involve.

Bedtime

Now imagine you are in bed, snuggled in, and thinking back on your lovely Christmas Day.

What feeling describes your day?

What do you appreciate about your day?

What are you grateful for?

Who, or what, have you enjoyed?

As you reflect, keep that curiosity going. Let go of how it might happen, or any ‘shoulds’ that come up. Keep generating ideas and be creative.

If something comes to mind, jot it down. Do not rule it out before your pen reaches the paper.

Your Lovely Christmas Day (Part II)

Now that you have lots of ideas about your day, you can start to reflect on how to make it happen.

Looking through your notes, what stands out to you? Which change feels most important, or would have the greatest impact?

Start to sort through your ideas, prioritise them, and then look at your top actions to start taking those next steps.

Upgrades

Focusing on your top changes or actions, what do you need to do next, or work through, or discuss, to make them happen?

You might also choose to reflect on how you can make the whole day a bit better, by focusing on what you could do to make it 5%, 10%, or 50% better.

What do you notice when thinking about making changes?

Do any ‘oughts’ or ‘shoulds’ pop up for you? We all know how much fun those thoughts can be. How can you make those easier, mitigate them, delegate them, or let them go?

What about any challenges, or challenging people? What can you do to make those situations 5%, 10%, or 50% better?

What do you need to say no to, and how can you get support to make that happen? If saying no feels difficult, you may find my article useful Do you need to set some festive boundaries?

Your Lovely Christmas Break (and Beyond)

If you have not already done so, go back and pick the actions or changes that excite you most, or feel most important for your wellbeing or enjoyment. Then decide what you are going to do next to make them happen, and, crucially, when!

Some of those actions may become part of a new plan for next year, if you cannot make them happen this year. However, it is worth testing what will realistically be different next year to make it easier. If the honest answer is not much, you may be putting it off, and it may be best to revisit those feelings now.

You could also extend this reflection to your family. Ask them what they would like for their Christmas, and bring it back into a discussion to see how it might all be combined. You might be surprised by what people want.

Festive Greetings

If you want to take this further, you can use the same questions to think about any other day during the festive break that is important to you, the whole break, or any special occasion during the year.

Did anything new come into your Christmas, or get moved out of it, as a result? Do let me know.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you have a peaceful and loving time.

Simona